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Today’s Feelings

Written by Ann LeFlore; for thePoetryPalaceThursday Poets Rally Week 53. When my brother was so sick and battling cancer I use to listen to his fears, his hurts, and how scared he was to die. He was so sick and suffering so much just before he did die he told me who would be there for him. After my brother passed I use to sit around looking at his photo and thinking of him. I remembered his words so well. I decided to write this poem to try and express how he was feeling in the end knowing he did not have much time leftl.

 

Todays Feelings

Today my heart is beaten black and blue
My hands are empty and my life seems so blue
God please tell me who will be there tomorrow
To keep me safe throughout the years
To hold me throughout my fear

Yes God who will be there tomorrow
To wash away my tears
To take away my fears
Oh God only you shall know

Sorrow and pain have nothing to gain
Love and hate feel no pain
Blood and tears can’t wash away my fears
Dreams of tomorrow seem like yester years

So God if you hear my cry
Send down a band of Angels
To take away the lonely night
And turn them into sunlight

The Angels are going to release me
To a place who knows where
And I don’t really care
Cause I have a taste of paradise
And now all I have is time until the end

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Comments on: "Today’s Feelings" (72)

  1. I’m moved. I could feel the void left and you so graciously remembering the emotions of someone dear. He must have been very close to you.

    Hank

    • Yes he was and when he did finally die it was hard to accept but then I knew he was no longer in pain and had a better chance than to continue on living here. I still miss him a lot

  2. I hope–I think I see it in the last stanza–he let go of fear at the end. Very stirring write.

    http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/treasure/

    • Yes in the end he did let go of his fears but it was also very sad. I had hopes he would make it through this but with cancer you know that all depends on if you get an infection or something else that can weaken you in the end. This is what happened to him.

  3. sad, well done.

    hopefully, tomorrow is a lovely day.

  4. sad but a beautiful tribute to your brother ….thank you for sharing such precious thoughts x

  5. look at the brighter side and all will be well my friend.. my thursday.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/08/03/how-i-wish/

    • Thank you I am catching up now on my reading and will drop by soon to your site thanks for stopping by and leaving me a link to your new post do enjoy reading your work

  6. hobgoblin2011 said:

    Thanks for sharing the tribute. It’s very good. Sad, but very good. Again, thanks for sharing, I’m glad I was able to read

    • yes you are right it is sad. that was his words he spoke to me and they were sad and hurt so much to hear them. But in the end I could start to understand his feelings and how scared he was to die. He was leaving for an unknown place and he was afraid to be alone

  7. i can feel the void and unsureness.. one thing is for sure though, God is all we can leave it to. i love the line
    “And I don’t really care
    Cause I have a taste of paradise”

    as much as we miss our loved ones, their so much better, in a way better place, where pain can never touch them again. God is just.

  8. I tried to imagine the emotions behind the poetry you wrote, and the last stanza is pretty dark…after the seem to be uplifting stanza before that. Wonderful write.

    • It was his words and his fears and it was scary and dark but in the end he was no longer afraid I think he was OK in the end but it still was so hard to accept

  9. A beautiful story of love not lost, but loved and cherished in the heart. The spirit is strong in your words, and in the brother that left fear behind, to find the paradise he sought. Thank you.

  10. A beautiful tribute for your brother!

  11. Lovely warm poem, your brother had a loving sister in you.

    • Thank you. I took care of him when he was small and I still remember the day he was born I called him my baby and I use to run home from school to see him sleeping in his bed and want to wake him up and play with him.

  12. Beautifully written, sad but powerful

  13. Oh thats a very touching poetry you have written there…seemed like emotions pouring out…liked it very much…
    keep up the good work
    Cheers
    Dawn!

    • Thank you so much Dawn I think you are right when I heard my brother talk it was so sad and his emotions showed through in how he felt and how much he was afraid.

  14. Love this! So hopeful and healing. I think you mean “angels” rather than “angles”, but the meaning is conveyed superbly 🙂 Well done!

  15. Heartfelt, painful, yet pierced by hope…bautifully written…

  16. I am sorry your brother’s life was cut short and so painfully, Sarah. I cannot imagine the heartbreak in that.

    I’m a bit afraid of death myself, but know it will come. And hopefully, as you write, to angels’ release.

    Will think of you long after I post this and wish you well.

    • yes it was hard to watch my brother die. Sarah is my Mom and this was her son it was hard on my Mom when my brother got sick but she was there for him and tried to help him all she could.

  17. what a dreamy poem… i wish my life was that easy

  18. This is a beautiful poem! Well written

  19. Ann, I am very close to my only sibling, my brother. I do not think I’d have the emotional courage you display here in writing this poem. These are issues we all come to terms with one way or another. A beautiful tribute full of love.

    • Thanks Anna you know what it took me a long time to come to grips with his death and to write this poem. He is gone now 13 years and it was so hard. But one day I was looking at his photo and thought back on this day we talked and I decided to finally write this for him or in his memory. I could not do it after he died or even a few years later but after a lot of time passed it was easier for me to do this

  20. Its good that you cherish that taste of paradise..

  21. Oh..this is so touching! He had such a lovely sister. May his soul restin peace.

  22. Hello.
    Even though your brother is no longer a part of this world, he will always remain in your heart simply because you loved him.

    A truly heartfelt write.

    Thanks for sharing & visiting.

    Yesterday With You

  23. This is so sad but well expressed. So sorry to hear of your loss.

    • Thank you so much. I did not write this right after my brother passed away it took me a very long time to decide to write this. I had started it many time and not wanted to finish it or read it again then one day I did finally finish this

  24. beautiful expression! 🙂

    “time will change without any range;
    but still we have some range;
    that’s why ……
    we feel some one to exchange!”

    keep writing & smiling always !

  25. After how you nicely told about your pain and sorrow I’m sure that God can hear you and he will soon send bans of angles.
    Very well written and as much as I hate pain and sorrow as much as I love how it lets you write such beautiful lines.

    Thanks for sharing.
    Shadiatique

    • Thank you so much Shadiatique I know that my brother is safe now and he is in good hands. It took me a long time to deal with his passing and now it is OK for me and I can write about this and tell how he feft before he passed away

  26. Wow! That’s amazingly powerful and emotional. Great job!

    • Thank you so much it did take me a long time before I decided to put into words the feelings my younger brother had when he knew he would pass on soon from cancer

  27. Your feelings of a void like this gets to your readers in the words you have chosen to express it. I can feel your anquish, your pain.
    Rosie

    • Thank you Rosie it was not easy to write this but I needed to write it for my brother and how sad he was when he knew he would not be around for a long time

  28. Heartfelt! I hope you find all the peace you are seeking. A lovely poem

  29. when you are hurting that much, it’s good to have God on your side

    • Yes you are so right. I think he is fine now he has been gone for a few years now and I decided to write his feeling when I was looking at his photograph

  30. What a beautiful tribute. I lost my stepfather to cancer last year, and I’ve never been able to write about it. It just won’t become a poem. You’ve given me inspiration 🙂

    • I hope that one day you will be able to write a poem to your step father. it took me 12 years to write this poem to my brother and in his memory of his pain and the loss I felt after he was gone

      • Thank you. I suppose the important thing is knowing the right moment to write it.

      • Yes you are right. But I think you will know when it is the right time to write your poem. I use to look at my brother picture and think of him so much and only thoughts were tears and good memories of him. But now I can look at his photograph and see my brother and know he is safe and happy and it was easier for me to write this for him.

  31. Moving! I could almost put myself in the shoes of your brother. Thanks for sharing those memories!

  32. 😦 so painful and sad…heartwrenching. Thanks for sharing this with us!

  33. A bittersweet paradise… A beautiful and emotional write.

    • Thank you so much. After my brother passed on it was a very long time before I could think of this and even consider to write this poem for him. I think now is a good time and I am glad that I wrote it for him

  34. beautiful even in all the pain. you have expressed the fears very well 🙂

    • Thank you and yes in the end he was in a lot of pain not just knowing he would not live much longer but the fact that the cancer was so painful and he was hurting so much each day this is what was so sad to see

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